Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles Redone
by proudcareerwoman
Summary: For anyone who disagreed with Grace Ann's views in Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles this is a redoing of it where Harry goes to learn science.


_Hey everyone. I'm Eliza and I'm a 16 year old from Australia. For those of you who don't know there is a person rewriting the Harry Potter books into a Christian version so it is "family friendly" and so that her children don't "turn into witches. For those of you who don't know the story is called Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles by proudhousewife aka Grace Ann._

_I am personally an atheist and, apparently a "fornicating, drug-addicted evolutionist", I am ignoring the role that I, as a woman, should play by not aspiring to be the perfect housewife. I believe in science and am also a girl who isn't willing to be told how my life should be lived. As such I have decided to write this in retaliation to Hogwarts School of Prayer and __Miracles._

_In this fic I will probably insult a lot of people. Remember that while being an atheist I have no problem with Christianity or any other religion. I_I also apooligise in advance to anyone both within and outside Christianity (eg. Housewifes of whom I have no problem with, I just have a problem with saying that's all a woman can amount to)_ that I insult. That is not the point of this, the point is to show how incredibly ridiculous Grace Ann is being. I have absoloutly no problems with what you do with your life or what faith you follow as long as you don't either force someone else to believe the exact same thing or you become a religious fanatic and am hurting or judging other people because of it which is what Grace Ann has done, so now all hells going to break loose because that is something I will not stand for.  
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_To Grace Ann I honestly can't tell if you're legit about this or if you're doing it for a joke (for your childrens sake (assuming you have them) I hope the latter). However even if what you are doing is a joke the fact remains that Harry Potter is the most banned book in the world because it "promotes witchcraft". I believe that we should all be free to read, take away that freedom and you take away some of the rights that your founding fathers that you were speaking so highly of at one point in your fic or AN (can't remember which)._

_Finally I do not own either the original Harry Potter (unfortunately) or Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles (fortunately)_

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Harry Potter who lived under the stairs in a house on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle. He was a good, obedient boy who did all his chores; but he felt that there was something missing in his life. Something big and special; but he could not quite name it. He stayed up every night; and wished for this special something; but then one day, there was a knock at his door-and everything changed.

"Answer the door, Harry!" his Aunt Petunia, a stay at home mum barked from the kitchen where pulled out some brownies. She had short, curly blonde hair and a cake of makeup that she spend huge a huge amount if time putting on in the morning, along with many touch-ups throughout the day. Uncle Vernon nodded from his relaxed position in the couch that he occupied constantly whenever not at work. It was his theory that as the man of the house he should be allowed to relax at home while his wife fretted over the cooking, cleaning and taking care of his son Dudley along with Harry.

As a result Dudley was often neglected by his father and had no connection to him. This however was probably a good thing because otherwise he could have become a sexist, homophobic Christian just like him.

Harry opened the door to find a huge, muscular man dressed in a plaid, red shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy, leather boots. Harry noticed that this man was the first person he'd ever met that didn't have the cross hanging on a necklace around his neck.

"Good morning, kiddo," the man greeted amiably; and smiled at Harry. He had the peaceful, friendly sort of face you just knew you could trust. "My name is Hagrid. Could I speak to your aunt and uncle?"

"You can speak with my aunt and uncle," Harry replied politely.

"What do you want?" Aunt Petunia peered out the door with her narrow, suspicious eyes; and she was wearing a baggy, unflattering pantsuit.

"Hello, neighbour! I was wondering if you were interested in Harry learning the science of evolution," Hagrid exclaimed brightly.

Aunt Petunia laughed a gravelly laugh; and leaned forward on her sturdy, practical boots. "Science of evolution? Don't tell me you are one of those evolutionists?"

Harry did not know what that word meant; but Hagrid's smile was the most peaceful smile he had ever seen. It made Harry feel warm and happy inside just seeing the glowing, radiant grin on the kind, friendly stranger's face. He wondered why Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon did not smile like that...

"Yes, I am," Hagrid replied kindly. "I knew Harry's parents and Lily said you were a Christian however as Harry is their son they wished that he would be given the knowledge of science and make the choice for himself about whether he'd believe in science or religion."

Aunt Petunia laughed again; and stuck her pointy, sharp nose up in the air. "We are too smart for that. Haven't you read the bible? Science does not exist! Evolution is not real! The bible proves that. Would you like us to educate you on the bible?"

"What is science and evolution?" Harry asked.

"Science is all around us, it's in who we are and how we came to be. It is how the world exists." Hagrid explained wisely.

Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry's young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, "Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your science, he has God. Haven't you heard of God? I have a very good textbook on God that I could give you on it if you would like to learn things."

Hagrid laughed wisely. "I'm sorry Petunia but I'm a atheist and do not believe in religion. You are free to believe what you wish but I will not agree with it and I will not have you forcing it down innocent children's throats, they should be able to form their own decisions."

"I have God and Harry does too." Aunt Petunia screeched.

"I want to learn about science, tell me about science!" Harry cried wistfully, clasping his hands together. Sometimes, the wisdom of little ones is really amazing. We think we grownups know it all but then children come out with such intelligent words, straight from their brains.

"All you have to do is come to Hogwarts school of Science. Do you want to learn?"

"I do, I do!" Harry squealed, jumping up and down.

"Then come along with me."

Aunt Petunia tried to stop him; but she was powerless against the science of the world.

"Yer a scientist Harry!" Hagrid cried proudly and the two walked off to go to get all of Harry's science textbooks.


End file.
